Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Romantic Comedies Ruin My Life

So…. Romantic comedies ruined my life! That's right! And yours too! Listen Up! Ever been in a life, yes life, where you were selling your body and a rich ass person bought your time for a week and you guys fell in love? NO? Maybe she remembers you in her dreams but forgets you every time she sleeps? But you keep trying! And make a cut little video every day to catch her up. OH.. Puke! NO? Not in reality! See what I'm saying? I have decided that movies should be based on a true story and as boring as life is. Maybe call them "romantic ironies". You know what I'm saying? How about she tried to move on when you dumped her. No matter what personal issues you had to work through or what selfish issues she had. She moved on and got in a new relationship. You met some women which you may or may have not got naked with. It's a difference in opinion which is better or worse. Rebound relationship or rebound nudity? Debate for the ages. Now your both unhappy. Every time you hear certain bands or songs you switch it to something different because it makes you think of her. That's a true romantic comedy! Ha ha!! A year or so later. You ask a cute little thing if she needs advise at the tire store and/or…. with her panties. IT's HER!! Oh shit… The ex! Your heart jumps and you start to ramble like a twelve year old caught with a playboy. She realizes your nervous because she knows you better than any woman. Your brain panics and leaves your head! Your left with you emotions… WHICH are no help to you what so ever! But you cant walk away!! She has NO idea you still think about her. She flirts a bit and your done!! Want to go see a movie? A romantic comedy perhaps? Talk about getting false hopes from a fictional story! Now you guys feel THIS connection. You both have changed and it looks like for the good. For a week its great! Maybe two weeks! The "make up" nudeness is unreal! All five times that week! You meet up with each others families again and they are happy to see your bliss. The End.
Now back to reality! You hurt her, she hurt you and now what? Do you have the answer? I sure the hell don't! The first mistake was, when you were together, not telling her she is being stupid and her new "bestest coworker" is the devil dressed as a CNA! And she doesn't tell you that she just needs to rotate her time better because you guys spend every second together. Because even though she laughs when you say "that's what she said!". Its just not the same as when your with the boys. And it doesn't matter how excited you act when she shows you her new outfit she got on sale. Its not the same as the girls. Have a guys night! Have a girls night! Her relationship was not good but she was using it to get over you. Even though her "Mr. rebound" treated her like a trucker's tooth pick. Only there to help with the meat! He cheated on her and abuse of all kinds. She still has feelings for him? She wished everyday you would come back. And you never forgot about her. Well "HI". Second chance maybe? At first she is all about it and you hesitant. Then gods sense of humor takes over! You switch. You realize it's a good thing and she withdraws. Ok where is the "you had me at hello!" ? Jerry was a dick! Your not a dick!! You're the good guy!! Women want a challenge!! OH…. They say they want a nice guy! Bull Shit!! "I just want a guy who treats me good." No. What you should say is. "I want a guy who is a challenge for me to GET him to treat me good." Why do it easy?? Can't enjoy the steak unless you can slaughter the cow too. Right? Guys are not any better. "I don't want to settle down. I just want to play for a bit." What guys should say is. "I love you but it might be better with that red head…. or the blond. What about both?" Your mind wanders too much. What's the next item up for bid Rod? or Things that go wrong when your stupid! For $500 please Alex?
Solution? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? Buehler? My solution! There is no happily ever after. As much as you want to believe you will have a life with no worries or stress it is not possible. Live in the now! Don't look to the future because you WILL miss something. Take life as it comes. No more, No less. Speak your mind but respect everyone's views. If you enjoy a conversation with some one. Then do it again! And keep doing it until you know everything about them. No happily ever after? But, the next thing you know, your celebrating your 25th wedding anniversary with your five grandkids. And you guys lived day by day, happy together! And that's still too "happily ever after" for me! Just try to live happy with some you care about TODAY! Not forever! Today! I say just don't watch romantic comedies until its more like REAL life.
And that's Shorty's view.

No comments:

Post a Comment